because I couldn’t post this last night… I’m posting this now.. 

I like what we USED to have…

How we USED to be.

Instead of growing closer… We’re growing apart.

I can say that none of this is your fault… and that I will take all blame.. But to be honest I don’t know if I can do this much longer.

Stress. Pain.Confusion. All of that has been building up inside of me. It hurts to say… I miss when we were just friends. ><

It’s sad I know.. I never thought my feelings would end up this way. 

I thought that i would be much happier with the decisions I have made in life… But instead it’s hurting me… crushing me in the inside.

I don’t actually know how much I can actually hold onto.

It hurts even more knowing that we built such a strong and great friendship… and now that we’re MORE than friends… nothing felt right any more.. It’s just falling apart. 

I don’t want to call it off because I know it’ll hurt more for you than it will probably hurt for me… but do I really want to keep myself locked up in this kind of pain? Is it worth it to hurt myself more by putting up with this? Is it fair that you have to keep wondering about things? Keep trying to make an effort on us when I don’t know if that’s what I want any more? I really don’t know. I don’t want to hurt any of us… but I know it will eventually happen. I’m not prepared for what choice I have to make next…

I know you try to make me see that you’re seeking for my attention… but the more and more I see it, the more I want to back away from you.

I don’t know why, and I think to myself… letting out some tears every night becasue I have bottled up these conflicted, confused feelings because I don’t know what is happening with life any more.. I don’t know if I’m happy the way things are right now. I’m scared. Hurt. Confused.